In Canada we like to
disguise our poverty.
Take pop, for
instance.
We drink a lot of
it. And then we throw away the cans and
bottles. But we give money back for the
bottles when people hand them in. Hey don't
judge us, we get bored and we have to make games with what we can.
People used to throw
bottles and cans out the windows of
their speeding cars along the highways.
They weren't even trying to hit anything, not a gopher to help the
farmers, not a buffalo to have food for the winter, and not even a fence post
to prove their skill. They often even
missed the ditch. And the ditches there
are very big. It could have been a great
game but we made up for it with the whole Pick-Up-Bottles game that followed.
People would come
along and collect the bottles out of the ditch. The government allowed that because they are
very smart and compassionate. First of
all the ditches needed to be cleaned and politicians are way too busy building
new, more durable, fences to sit on.
Second of all it costs way more money to
pay people to pick up the garbage, sooo ... you let the poor people do
it and give them a few pennies for each bottle.
Then when people drive along, especially the tourists, instead of going, "oh look, how sad,
there is a poor person having to pick bottles out of the ditches in order to
have money, what kind of country is this," people say, "oh wow,
those/us Canadians we are so swell and 'green conscientious' they/we are out
there picking up garbage, even before the rest of the world is screaming green
and before
Al Gore was out of diapers."
Ok I confess some
people said, "Al who?"
No-one had their
dinner ruined by seeing messy ditches or poor people. The government was sensitive to the fact so
many of us Canadians already had tough things to deal with at dinner time ...
Like the cost of garbage bags for them to scrape their left over food
into. Especially on holidays. People had problems scraping enough food to
feed half their neighbourhood for 8 weeks into the garbage after Thanksgiving,
because everyone said, "better save room for the dessert buffet and not
eat anymore of the main meal." How
could you ask them to lift their heads from their dessert buffet to reflect on
the sight on poor people bottle picking out of their ditches???
Rich people could
feel really swell that they threw their bottles and cans out of the windows
because it meant they cared about the poor people out there and were doing
their bit. They felt really swell-er if
they drank lots of pop, and some did, they were that committed.
Not to mention the
great feeling when your car is not messy because you have empty bottles in
it. I hate that annoying clinking sound
when they roll around on the floor and bump into each other when you are
driving.
But then it all
changed and suddenly there were too many poor people and not enough bottles to
go around and there were fights in the ditches in Canada. It was no longer safe to hang out in roadside
ditches because gangs of homeless people banned together and staked their
territory, to try and control the recycle trade.
And then there were
even more poor people and we were not throwing our bottles out of the windows
of our car anymore. We were keeping
them, and putting them in a big box when we got home, that we kept locked safe
in the garage and filled with all out bottles and cans and took back ourselves
when they got full and kept the money so we could buy more pop.
And all kinds of
charities, sent out cute kids to beg us for our pop bottles so they could feed
the poor who were too weak from hunger to go to the ditches anymore and needed
someone else to try and help them. We all
lied and said we didn't have any bottles to give to the cute little kids and
then made sure our own kids buried our bottles in the back yard in the middle
of the night when no-one could see so that they were safe until we could take
them into the bottle depot. And we wore
disguises when we went to the bottle depots and we trained ourselves not to
scream and dance with excitement when we got anything over $15.00 back.
And then the
unthinkable happened ... people stopped drinking so much pop.
And then they
stopped driving so much.
Then some of them
did not even have cars and those that did were probably living in them.
And now they are all
sitting around a candle, trying to keep warm in the middle of summer because Al
Gore screwed up the whole season thing and nice weather with his Global warming
movie and they are hungry and THEY HAVE NO POP!
And now the Canadians are mad at the Americans because they birthed Al
Gore and then let him out of the country to damage everyone's weather.
But we have nice
clean ditches and the air is much better without so many cars.
And some really
awesome fences got built for the politicians who got really rich as they sat.
And I think this may
be a conspiracy theory and I am sorry if I scared the heck out of you but
someone has to talk about pop because we were all supposed to be singing, the
whole world .. that is what they promised .. and now this ....
Someone should
probably star the heck out of this article and make sure
David Icke sees it.
TEETH: Open Mouth Tattoos by
ATIA's
OUTFIT INCLUDES PURSE AND SHOES:
!!smesh ~ [ADD ME]
Lea Outfit in Olive
EARRINGS:
.Lvl93.
Cross Earrings - Silver
POSES:
PoSEioN
