Miss Bliss is
particularly perturbinated at the recent appalling behaviour witnessed between
girlfriends on Second Life and feels the need to speak out immediately.
*dusting off the old soapbox, placing it and climbing on top .... making eye
contact with each and every one of you, clearing my throat .....*
Girlfriends have
specific irrevocably inalienable responsibilities towards one another in SL and
they are as follows ... get out your handbooks and write these down....
1. You will always
watch your screen for the announcement that your girlfriend has arrived in
Second Life. It is appropriate to have some sort of magnificent music begin
playing immediately. You can commence the jumping up and down and squealing and
you will immediately IM her with "HIIIIIIIII!!!!! (hugs)" (helpful
hint.... to fully experience girlfriend huggydom so that you are not a lame
hugger you should hug yourself frequently and pretend it is her doing it
...don't French kiss the mirror though cause that is just pathetic)
2. Next step is
immediate voice chat. More squealing and jumping up and down. (if RL interferes
with this find a huge closet - tell the children and hubby you are playing a
special game. Tie them up with duct tape and make sure to put two pieces over
their mouths ... tell them the first one to get out of their restraints will
get supper. Throw in some dry crusts of bread for incentive. Believe me I have
used this many times .. the family loves it .. such a fun fun game ...hours and
hours of fun ... one time it went for 4 days .... hilarious ....well I guess I
was the only one laughing ... except no ... I forgot about them and went to bed
... I was sleeping ... ok never mind...)
3. You then
immediately send her all the lms and info on what you have experienced and what
items you scored while you were on SL without her. If there was something
hilarious that happened you should have pics and of course ALWAYS copy what
everyone else talked to you about - how will your properly gossip
otherwise? Best to just copy every
conversation so you can paste it for her - don't worry your pretty little head
about the TOS that is for the nerds and brainiacs to worry about.
4. If someone else
has been a bitch and you both agree you hate her/him .... decide which blog or
social media you are going to out them on and begin writing nasty stuff
immediately. Start planning your SL Secret poster and leak to others who it is
really about. Make sure you get them to write into the blog once you post it so
it can go on for days and days and days and everyone in SL hears about it.
5. Get naked, get
dressed, and go out and laugh hysterically about other people and how uncool
they are. Make sure you get the right order of that cause once I got mixed up
and laughed right after the get naked part and ... well .. that girlfriend
isn't my girlfriend anymore. She's a
little aardvark or some other animal and lives in Gor somewhere doing very
strange unspeakable things. I don't
think the two are connected ... my comment and her aardvarkiness ... it's just
the timing ... I laughed, she cried, and then poof ... she was an aardvark ...
6. When
"hunting" with them always wait for them and make sure you both have
the heart/kite/egg/bunny/doowahdiddy before TPing on. NEVER go hunting without
her.
7. Never pick up
other girlfriends when she is not around. You own each other and owe each other
- this is real territorial stuff ... in fact do like the animals in the wild do
and run around and urinate a big circle around her .... that way there is no confusing
who she belongs to ...those damn deer horn in on everything otherwise.
8. Never kiss and
tell. Don't do anything and tell. If you need to tell someone tell me ....
because I am a professional and I need stupid things to write about.
10. Now here are
some really important things BF will always do for each other:
a. Make sure to tell
her if anything is not positioned right on her body but don't scream it out in
public chat cause I did that once ... I was like ... "hey
....Zippellalindawishes," (yup that was her name cause she wanted to own
the prize chairs ... I usually called her Zippy but this was important shit so
I said hey Zippellalindawishes..) And she was like, "what?" and I
said "your nose is really whacked" and everyone heard me and they all
looked at her nose, pointed and laughed, and then someone wrote on the bathroom
walls "Zippellalindawishes has a big shnozzolla" and she cried for
days and I had to find an AO that would hold her and pat her head and tell her
it would all be ok so that I could go to bed and get some sleep. But it all
worked out ok cause she was like so touched at how sensitive I was to stay up
all night with her like that and just be there ... and I was like "ya... I
care that much babe. Oh and even though your nose is not whacked it is all red
and big from crying" I could say
that because we were alone and I had learned my lesson.
b. Try out all the
sex poses with her on the bed before the big date and let her know which ones
make her look fat.
c. Never ask her to
copy her shape ... everything else is sharesies sharesies except the
shape. Cause then the game would really
be boring cause we would all look the same and there would be no point we would
all just be named "pete" and "repete" and
"rerepete" and we would all go around saying "ditto"
"dittoditto." I mean I know
some of you talk like that anyway but trust me it is just not that interesting
, And don't make me have to repeat
myself ....ditto ... (ahahahahahaha I just crack me up ...)
d. Always transfer
anything you can to her. And dress alike all the time. Tell everyone you are really sisters in real
life. Stand close to her and when people
ask if you are lesbians or something snort at them and then get teary eyed and
tell them thanks for bringing it all up ... you just got out of surgery. Tell them you had a siamesetwinectomy and she
was what they removed..." and then make them drive you to the hospital
because the doctors will want to yell at them. It is so funny when they get all
worried and then once you get all in your hospital gowns you can jump up and
moon them and go ... "psyche" ... hahahahaha - it's really funny if
you are on the psyche ward - but don't worry if you're not .. you'll get there
....promise ...
e. Buy her nice
presents when you can. I just know my
girlfriends are shopping for me right now .....
11. Always remember
how much you love them (the person behind the pixels) and try not to be too
upset when you finally find out that she is really a he - not 27 at all but 83
... and once he gets out of prison .. he really wants to hang out with you in RL
... could you send him some money ...
And remember without
bathrooms for us to travel to and from together - we miss a lot of those
special RL moments so you just have to pick it up where you can.
And that concludes
this edition of the Emergency Blissful Manner Broadcast System ... we will now
return you to Hockey Night In Canada where any reproduction, in whole or in
part, is strictly prohibited by someone ... some big ass big someone .... but
you get the gist ....
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Ever wonder how my mind works that I come up with all this stuff?? Well ... I have no idea BUT if you enjoy this Blog you might be interested in Bliss/Aria's other blogs - find out more at Aria E. Appleford Blog. It is named after me. Because it is mine and we had a meeting and I proposed it, seconded it and voted it in. Unanimous! Join us on Facebook!
