Thursday, September 29, 2011

Over Exaggerated Lizards.

fnl1

I am the first to admit that it takes some getting used to the "critters" in Australia.

fnl3

I think that is mainly because of the size. I mean if they were to show you little spiders and then work their way up ... you could get sensitized BUT NO you just one day here what sounds like a herd of horses racing towards you, the light goes dim and you turn around and there you are, blocked in the living room with a Huntsman bearing down on you.

It is the same with the snakes and lizards. Here is a hint .. when the snake needs 8 aquariums to loop itself into .. THIS is not a good introductory snake. And a Perentie Lizard is not a good one on the lizard side.

And husbands are no help. We came upon a big purplish Perentie in the middle of the forest one day and I froze and he is calmly walking on without me telling me to stop standing still and acting like a tree or the lizard will climb me. ... (gee that would take it 2 steps considering the size of it)

fnl4

From the day forward I have spent the rest of my days here in Australia walking around in the most untree like manner possible.

SKIN: Apple May Designs Catalina Peachy
HAIR: Mirai Style +*Jump*+.DarkCherry&Mattcocoa [MS]
EYES: ! FASHISM 'Sunrise' Eyes - Eggplant Pale v2
LASHES: - DAMNED - My Perfect Eyelashes <3
OUTFIT: GizzA - Lordly [Black]
BOOTS: BAX Prestige Boots Black Leather

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

I'm Sorry Grandma Missed the Bra Burning ... BUT ....

atp1

They burned their bras in the Seventies.

atp2

Which became a symbol worldwide of female independence. We were free, no more restrictions put on us by a world that insisted that being a woman was "less than." We were so free we refused to be contained, ashamed, hidden ... We refused to be sex objects, denied our own interests, relegated to housework. It was an incredible time and one hell of a good story as to why we were naked in the park with all of those people ....

atp4

I would just like to say here though ... for all you seniors ... sorry you missed those important demonstrations, what with having to bake all those cookies and everything ... but they are over, the point was made ..... and you seriously need to put your bras back on ... please ....

PS .. here's an " 1 <3 Feminists" button ... pin it to your dress ... it will give that bra a bit more support.

SKIN: JeSyLiLo
HAIR: Je Republic
EYES: Fashism
LASHES: Damned
OUTFIT: aDiva
SHOES: LeLutka
POSES: TuttiFrutti

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

In Preparation for a Life of Crime.

rotf3

Some kids were born to break the law.

rotf1

Like my brother thought of everything. He even used branches to sweep away our tracks in the snow to lose the annoying city cousins that were trying to play with us and then other times he would make tracks in the snow hoping to lure them somewhere ... like the edge of a cliff or into the deep end of the creek where the ice was still soft. Sometimes he did it to throw them off from where we really were going.

If we were "escaping" he made me walk through the creek so that no-one could follow our scent .. except that we stunk more when we got out of the creek and there were no tracking dogs around where we lived. I guess it was better to be safe than sorry.

rotf2

Now if they ever have a bank near cliffs, in a forest, or with a nearby creek and it gets robbed ... I am turning him in.

SKIN: Apple May Designs Catalina Peachy
HAIR: Amacci Hair ~ Rona - Black Coal
EYES: ! FASHISM 'Sunrise' Eyes - Eggplant Pale v2
LASHES: - DAMNED - My Perfect Eyelashes <3
TEARS: [S]oleil - Running Mascara dual streams
EARRINGS: :DP: Group Gift Earrings
DRESS AND SHOES: GizzA - Victorian C H I C [Sour]

Monday, September 26, 2011

Good Conversation.

ppl1

We had a few friends in last night - of course we refunded them the toll money they had to pay to come up to this end of the street. Mainly because we are like that .. with our friends.

ppl2

I like the part when people are talking to one another and they are each having a different conversation - one talking about relatives, one talking about how many days it took to travel. What I like most is that neither seems to notice or mind ....

ppl3

.... what is relevance or outcome when you share food and words amongst friends? It all is just saying the same thing anyway right? "We like you," ... and "we get you," ... even when you make no sense at all. Cause you know what? Neither do I!

SKIN: Apple May Designs Catalina Peachy
HAIR: MrS_TAMARA- 30's retro' hairstyle - glossy brown
EYES: ! FASHISM 'Sunrise' Eyes - Eggplant Pale v2
LASHES: - Apple May Designs
JEWELLERY: $GaNKeD$ Falling Star Jewelry Purple
DRESS: COLLECTION MOREA STYLE FORMAL *PRICILIA - COQUELICOT Prune**
POSES: Twosome

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Why Mother In Laws Should Not Have Friends.

bsb2

My mother in law has a friend.

bsb1

Yesterday when we took them home he was all bent out of shape because he was sure, when he got inside, that someone had tried to break in and he wanted to show us that it looked like the screws had been undone on the sliding glass door.

I tried to follow his logic, it was hard on account of he was kind of hysterical and dancing on the spot while he spoke in this really high voice, screaming ... evidently in his neighbourhood, people break into the house and then try to jimmy the lock to break out ... I don't know .. I was soo confused but he had a glass of warm milk and seemed to move on to talking about his bad knee so we left him there like that ...

Was that wrong?

SKIN: al Vulo
HAIR: Elikatira
LASHES: Damned
EYES: Fashism
JEWELLERY: Ticky Tacky
BELT: Gewunjo
OUTFIT and SHOES: Lemania Indigo
POSES: EverGlow

Friday, September 23, 2011

Life is A Costume Party.

fdfh1

I don't know what the big deal is about Halloween.

fdfh2

Life is just one big costume party. I always keep my costumes handy and ready for any occasion simply because people respond more to familiar icons. Like when you have friends over and people start sharing their medical ailments, I like to excuse myself and slip into my nurse costume and grab my enema bag and hose.

When hubby doesn't know how to do something, I put on my super-hero outfit and stand with my hands on my hips holding a Taser Gun cause it makes sprakly things when you shoot it and it kinda looks like super powers.

I have a Cheerleading uniform for friends that need encouragement, a nerd outfit for when I am fixing computers and a Social Media Expert outfit that looks suprisingly like Pinocchio with a really long nose.

I used to have an assistant who was in charge of turning the music on when I entered a room and cuing the band .... but with the economy and all .. even I have had to tone it down a bit.

fdfh3

Now I just have an older woman who hums and plays the spoons.

SKIN: Apple May Designs Catalina Peachy
HAIR: [TS] Andrew Hair - Black
EYES: ! FASHISM 'Sunrise' Eyes - Eggplant Pale v2
LASHES: - DAMNED - My Perfect Eyelashes <3
DRESS: ~*marret*~ brown night for DESIGNER SHOWCASE

Thursday, September 22, 2011

The NEW Way to Smooth Wrinkles and Plump Breasts.

gsj2

I am not sure about this one but I heard that there is a treatment they use in Bangkok to increase breast size and to reduce wrinkling etc.

gsj1

Let me describe: Take hands, slap the crap out of face or breasts, repeat, repeat, repeat vigorously, stop, wait a few moments, good to go.

They swear this works.

I am convinced.

Slap anything long enough and it will eventually swell and plump which, by the way, smooths those wrinkles out like nobody's business.

My brother once had an allergic reaction to aluminum .. he was putting together an aluminum granary at the time and was on the inside. Imagine being allergic to cat fur and being in a room lined with cat fur and you get the idea. He became so swollen he looked like a bright pink balloon with squinty little eyes, some ruffled bits at the end of his feet and his hands and the rest of him was as smooth as smooth could be. I tried to tie a string to him and hang him out the ambulance window on the way to the hospital proving only that appearances can be deceiving. He may have looked like a balloon but he didn't behave like a balloon at all.

gsj3

Why am I telling you this? Well slapping hurts. I am thinking you could skip that and just rub aluminum, cat hair or whatever you are allergic to all over your breasts and face. In fact I am going to pack up some old coke cans, the neighbours cat and a tent and set up a booth in the mall for facials and boob jobs. I may not be back depending on how much money I make this aft ...

SKIN: ABS
HAIR: Vanity
LASHES: Damned
EYES: Fashism
EARRINGS: Gangked
GOWN: Ley Li
POSES: TuttiFrutti

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Vero.

Vero

You can't fault a skin name that rhymes with Hero .... well you could but then I would think you were a zero ... damn I am good this morning ... must write some music to that one ....

Al Vulo and Hlin .. what can you say except another awesome skin and so many options again with teeth, and make-up and skin tones and cleavage. I just wanna know when real life is going to include those options at the make-up counter - especially the teeth and cleavage part. I can see it know .... breasts by Clinique, or teeth by Mac. Right now I have breast by mom and dad and no offense but they suck and it really worries me when I look at Humpydora's state of breastdom.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Hugging Protocols

pir3

Don't you think that "huggers" should adhere to some kind of hugger etiquette or that they should be policed in some form?

pir2

I find it awkward to stand around in a large group when a new person is introduced who is a "hugger" and then they proceed to greet every person with a hug but the order is suspicious to me. Do you hug the ones you know best first? The host? Family? The people you like most? And what about when they skip over someone and come back to them? Like what is all that about? And how does one address a hugger who has clearly passed you over and comes back to you like they purposely left you for last?

Is neck nuzzling allowed in social hugs? Kiss on the cheek? French kissing? Like where do you draw the freaking line??

How much struggling is one allowed to do in an unwanted hug before it becomes a fist fight? Should one, instead, make every attempt to push away from the outstretched arms and if the person falls who should help them up? The most hugged or the first hugged?

Is it permissible to wear a sign that says "no hugging zone," and what is the penalty for hugging the don't-wanna-be-huggies?

pir1

Frankly I think people who hug are a tad thick ... I mean if you can't figure out that the person running from you in the parking lot screaming "NO NO ... just stay away from me" does NOT want to be hugged ... I mean come on ... "No" means "No." And after the first 3 blocks .... seriously .. just stop ...

I say .. when you can't get your people fix .. you huggers out there .. find a tree.. they may have bark but they don't bite .. and I am warning you ... I will ... if you try to hug me one more time.

SKIN: Deesse's Skin
HAIR: Truth
EYES: Fashism
LASHES: Damned
OUTFIT AND JEWELLERY: aDiva
SHOES: Nardcotix
POSES: BeBo

Sunday, September 18, 2011

There Goes The Neighbourhood.

jjs1

You know how life just surprises you sometimes and you wake up and you just sort of fell into the most amazing place?

jjs2

Well that happened to us recently when we realized ALL the neighbours had fled the scene at the same time and basically ... the entire end of the country road we lived on was empty except for us!!!

I immediately set up a lemonade stand and toll booth.

The road is a dead end .. people have to come down to turn around.

I am rich now.

jjs3

You would be amazed at how much lemonade people buy when you are holding a sub machine gun.

SKIN: Akeruka
HAIR: Seeking For Beauty Hair
EYES: Fashism
LASHES: Damned
OUTFIT: Sassy
SHOES: SLink
POSES: BeBo

Saturday, September 17, 2011

The Real Story Behind a Dynasty.

wis1

I knew a woman who called her kids Heather, Laurel and Flora. Like somehow they had no choice but to be flowers, fresh picked blah blah and so they grew up to be technically perfect and boy were they good at being arranged. I think the woman shopped for vases before the birth of each child. Yes she was a forward thinker.

wis2

The only problem was that the girls grew up to have personalities more like fungi, moss and bark.

Two of them did ballet and constantly stood there feet posed, ready to leap across the stage of life. The other one did Highland Dancing because she had the wrong body type for ballet. But I am not sure then why they chose Highland Dancing as she had huge boobs and while no-one had to lift her and there was no requirement for a visible neck .... when she danced she took "flinging" to a whole new level as she injured some of the other contestants. Also when they dance there normally is not a thudding drum beat to accompany them like there was with her.

At 5 you could say, "well that is wonderful she found dance that she is good at," but at 17 you sort of thought, "how sick are these parents?"

Anyway the 3 married model type men in arranged marriages. Literally both the husbands and the 3 pot house flowers were told who they would date and who was suitable marriage material. At 16 when most kids in their income bracket were handed the keys to a new car, they were handed a list .. of 1 ... and the the keys to a new car. As I said, the arrangements for the flowers had already been decided, and the vases purchased ... free will was a sin. If they wanted to make their own choices they needed to get busy and have some children of their own ...

wis3

.....and they all afforded big houses in the woods where they all rippped off other people and turned more into Poison Ivy, Stinkweed and Thistle. Yes, they all became pond scum.

Don't you love Dynasties?

SKIN: ABS
HAIR: Alice Project
LASHES: Damned
EYES: Fashism
JEWELLERY: Addiction
OUTFIT: aDiva
SHOES: Kookie
POSES: BEBO

Friday, September 16, 2011

Insecurities.

bir2

Some women worry that they might not look as good as everyone else.

bir1

They spend hours buying the right dress and primping and preening before the mirror. They have been waxed and shellacked, kneaded and sculpted, cut and dried, fluffed and puffed, lipsticked and powdered ....

Really when you think about it ... how you look is really about the paint job. We women are like those tacky lawn gnomes all white and plain - handed out to be painted in senior ceramics 101, we are undecorated Christmas trees, we are cakes without icing ....

bir3

And then we ask the guy who is in jeans and a tshirt, who we have to cattle prod to get to do the lawn, who thinks as long as a Christmas tree has shiny stuff thrown at it and 5000+ Christmas lights, and who thinks beans and franks WITH beer is a gourmet meal .... for his opinion - when no matter WHAT he says, he will be wrong .... and to blame.

I have given up all of that now .. I just close my eyes, walk into my closet and get dressed. I figure I have a one in three chance of looking great. And if not, I will either embarrass the heck out of the kids OR someone might share the loose change from their pocket. As you get older people don't judge you quite as harshly and they move you to the front for the buffet lines!!

Its a win win win situation and I save on tons of stress.


SKIN: Art Body Store
HAIR: Son!a
EYES: Fashism
LASHES: Damned
JEWELLERY: Meghindo's
OUTFIT: My Precious
SHOES: Stiletto Moody
POSES: BeBo

Flapping in The Breeze.

sbb1


I like the Flapper look with a modern twist .. cause Millie .. she was thoroughly modern.


sbb2


We did a play in high school about the Roaring Twenties and I tried out for the lead. The teacher said I had the perfect voice for it and based on that I had won the role hands down .... but they gave it to the girl who sang opera instead.

They did that on account of her real life boyfriend had the male lead, of and I was only 12 although I would be 13 by the time the play was on. They felt romance scenes might be inappropriate - like I did not know how to kiss the back of my hand romantically and couldn't easily project a hand on his face and pretend ...


sbb3


That's when I learned some important life lessons.

1. Prairie Theatre was not interested in quality.
2. Singing is really irrelevant to musicals.
3. Those joints actually were just make-out joints back then.
4. Girls were not supposed to kiss boys who were 4 years older than them although THAT rule clearly did not apply to teachers - or THAT teacher who while protecting me from the boy, felt free to help himself to my lips.
5. I clearly NEVER understood the casting couch concept.

The result? You have not heard "I Want To Be Loved By You" until you have heard it done in full opera. The leading couple broke up ... evidently she kissed like a fish. The teacher took some time off so he could walk without grimacing. I never tried out for another play. And the prairie wheat waves hiding a plethora of secrets.

SKIN: Deesse's Skin
HAIR: Truth
EYES: Fashism
LASHES: Damned
OUTFIT AND JEWELLERY: Morea Style (it's the mix summer exclusivity for Members only and available only 1 week)
SHOES: Stiletto Moody
POSES: BeBo

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Danielle Gives 'em Hell.

Danielle

I played a lot of basketball and I always wondered at the lack of creativity shown by the cheerleaders .. you know "Mary Mary she's our man, if she can't do it no-one can?" Except Mary was not a man. Jocks are not big into sexist arguments.

I tried to get them to try rhyming it to the name but you can see the problem .. Bliss/Kiss??? Mary/Fairy??

So then I started a movement to get people to think about these things when naming their little girls. I just shoved over the pro-life demonstrators and got a bull horn and started screaming at expectant moms as they wheeled them in ... "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GIVE YOUR DAUGHTER A DECENT BASKETBALL NAME. "

You have to admit .. "Danielle Danielle - give 'em hell ... "now THAT is a basketball name anyone could be proud of.

(PS ... of course if you can do the Haka well enough - you can skip the cheerleaders all together)

Deesse's Skins

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

LOOK LOOK MA!! MESH!!

hoh1

Would you look at me? I am wearing mesh hair and it doesn't look like chicken wire!! I don't even have any pokey bits sticking into me.

hoh2

I don't understand it, I don't do it, but I have Lindens and I will buy it .. providing the viewer will co-operate. I feel so grown up!!!

(PS - Please be kind and do not leave comments contradicting my feelings .. even complete losers are allowed their brief moments of delusion)

SKIN: Acide
HAIR: Alice Project
LASHES: Damned
EYES: Fashism
JEWELLERY: Addiction
DRESS: aDiva
POSES: BEBO

Seldom Blue or Aged.

ims3a


There is a September Retirement Sale at Seldom Blue and don't be silly like me and think that meant you had to be over 65 to shop there.


ims2a


Which really confused me because I do love my grandma and all but even thinking of her in some of this lingerie is a bit off putting .. as in I put off opening my eyes for almost 3 hours until someone said I had it all wrong.

I mean she is wayyy past the lift and separate and more into mash and stuff. And support hose don't have the same effect with those garter belt thingys as those sheer little lacy numbers. I guess as long as everyone at the party has failing eyesight ... it really does not matter but I just could not bring myself to take her shopping there.


ims1a


I like to go shopping naked and just start from scratch.

So ya .. forget all that and get a babysitter for her, the kids and hubby and go go go ....


SKIN: Acide
HAIR: OH
LASHES: Damned
EYES: Fashism
LINGERE: Seldom Blue
SHOES: SLink
POSES: BeBo

Monday, September 12, 2011

Danger! Stranger!

glb1

My mother in law was really upset the other day. I overheard her talking to hubby. She was saying ... Don't you find it ... unsettling.... when someone comes up to you and talks and you have no idea who they are, but they clearly know you?

glb2

And then you ask yourself how that is even possible ... how can someone know me and feel that comfortable that they can come up and talk to me in a crowd, to single me out, and clearly they know things about me so clearly we have talked before ... and I have not a clue who this person even is??? How can that be? Am I that unobservant, that uncaring, that shallow???

Hubby sighed and patted her hand and said ..."Mom ... that was my wife ... see look she is sitting over there on the computer!"

His mom craned her neck and strained to see me better ....


glb3

"Oh her ... tell her to wear a different dress next time and not to look like such a stranger."


SKIN: Akeruka
HAIR: Truth
EYES: Fashism
LASHES: Damned
OUTFIT: aDiva
JEWELLERY: J and W Jewellers
POSES: BeBo

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Yikes Don't Go To The Jungle Anymore!!!

itmj1

You know I grew up where Tarzan never "accidentally" flashed anyone and he carried this chimp around that just loved him to bits and who was always doing cute things. Then you have the Beverly Hillbillies and Elly May and her cute chimp and then we have a President in the US and bedtime and Bonzo the chimp. People read us stories about Curious George to put us to sleep. (yes "people" I have no idea who those people were that showed up beside me bed at night and started reading stuff to me and tucking my covers in ...)

itmj2

The world has changed. It is a scary scary place now. I watched an episode of Nip and Tuck where a chimp went crazy and ate this woman's face off and today someone sent me a clip on Chimps with machetes running through the jungle. Someone evidently thought THAT was a good idea although I never thought of machetes as "cute" .... and now they are out of control. And have you seen any of the Planet of the Apes?

itmj3a

I am burning my sock monkey tonight. I don't want it getting any ideas.

SKIN: League
HAIR: CaTwa
LASHES: Damned
EYES: Fashism
OUTFIT: Blue Blood
SHOES: JIMMY CHAU SHOES
POSES: BeBo, Glitterati

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Lemon Juice and Shaving.

btb1

Did you know that lemon on a freshly shaved face hurts like heck?

btb2

Me neither BUT when you are right in the middle of a discussion at the dinner table and you are tolerating the ramblings of your stupid brother because the family counselor said that we have two ears and one mouth and we are supposed to listen twice as much as we talk and even though I said that was stupid on account of I have two hands too, did you want me to hit twice as much as I talk? and then he wrote out the prescription for valium and handed it to my grandmother ... I had agreed to try it. SO I was letting him blah blah blah ....

And then ... he reached for some lemon for his fish and he squeezed it and some of it hit him in the face and he stood up screaming, holding his cheeks and it was soooo funny .....

Mainly because before dinner Aardvark was demanding to know who had been playing with his razor, he had cut himself and someone had used it and the Biffster swore it was NOT him ...

And Aardvark believed him .. because why does an 11 year old smooth face mama's boy need to shave anyway ....

Big mistake ....need had nothing to do with it. Biff had caved to peer pressure, to wanting to grow up too fast, to needing to explore the trappings of the doorway to manhood ....

Yup ... he had tried to shave and in the process that damaged the razor ....and lemon juice never lies .... as he stood screaming and exposed .. .partly because of the sting of the lemon juice and partly because of the sting of Mr. Belt which was going to follow the fish course .....

btb3


I was so grateful that my newly shaved and nicked legs were hidden under a long skirt, under the table, miles away from lemon anything ....

SKIN: LAQ
HAIR: CaTwa
LASHES: Damned
EYES: Fashism
OUTFIT: Grafitti Wear
PURSE: Addict
POSES: BeBo