Saturday, April 30, 2011
I would just like to announce that the breakfast debate was won some years ago .. in case someone wants to hand out an award or something .. email me I will give you my personal details and where you can send the money.
After years of grandparental insisting that "breakfast is the most important meal of the day, eat your vat of oatmeal ...your 8 eggs and 10 lbs of bacon are getting cold" I one day pushed it all aside and pulled over a plate of peanut butter cookies.
As I dipped them in my milk and ate them, I calmly pointed out that peanut butter cookies and milk were the perfect breakfast .... I had my dairy, my grains, my eggs and peanut butter. I then argued I should not be penalized because my combination happened to taste better than theirs.
I know I saw defeat in their eyes as their eyes fixed upon me, silence fell around the room, I caught a motion from my grandfather's end of the table, I am not sure, it happened so fast, I heard the wind wooshing .....
.... and then everything went black....
That day in the hospital, as I realized I had gotten away without consuming a breakfast that could feed the entire Mormon Tabernacle Choir AND the Irish Rovers .... I knew that it had all been worth it ....
I do miss my left ear though sometimes ....
HAIR: Pocket Mirrors
CHOKER: La Forgia
Friday, April 29, 2011
Obviously my invitation to the Royal Wedding was lost in the mail, being as I am related to them and all.
I told my hubby that we had to recreate the whole thing here so that I would not feel like I had missed out and have to spend another decade in therapy. He said "sounds good to me" but he meant the decade in therapy NOT the reinactment.
I wanted to invite all my friends .. I have one with a horsey face that would be perfect for Camilla. I want us all to do like a murder mystery where everyone dresses up and plays their role and my hubby said we can't do that. He is such a party pooper .. I think he is just afraid that after the queen shut down the Chaser's coverage she will go after us and we would die if we were not allowed to be smart asses and poke fun at everything. Sometimes when the queen looks upon you with a disapproving look, eyes narrowed into slits, nostrils flaring ... you shouldn't snork .. you should just pretend to dig at the earth with your toe and blend in with the grass ...
So ya ... won't be at the wedding, won't recreate nuthin' ... hubby and I bought grass outfits and we be blendin' with the rest of the Aussies. But man .. wait until she looks the other way!!
SKIN: Dr. Life
HAIR: Heart Softens
LASHES: Wasabi Pills
DRESS: House of Dashwood
EARRINGS: Donna Flora
Another beautiful skin and offering from YS&YS. I love YS&YS skins because they are really muted, classy, timeless and are able to adapt to whatever look you are going for.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Did you hear The new royallyweds are probably going to honeymoon in Australia .... in Cairns? Like why not hit the small towns along the way and hang with the locals?? Locals can make fools of themselves too you know ... like I think they should be put on the back of a ute and paraded around the small towns and then they can stop and shop at Crazy Clarks for little gifty's to give Charles and Liz when they get home ... like those cool little clip on koala bears ... you can never have too many of those.
eStyle (the choice of royallywed lovers everywhere)
Monday, April 25, 2011
Today was really quiet around the neighbourhood. People away on holidays, people attending Anzac Day celebrations, naked people cutting off their dread locks in the yard next to us ...
I keep asking myself a couple of questions. 1. When is something exciting is going to happen around here? 2. Is there some magic trick to cutting off dread locks that requires nakedness and attendees to witness said nakedness and cutting? and finally ....
3. Is there a Hallmark card for "thanks for exposing me to your genitals complete unexpectedly, I am so sorry I had to rush home on account of I was sick?"
LASHES: Wasabi Pills
Dear Easter Bunny.
I love you man .... you know that ...and I was just wondering ....
You may have missed all my notes for the past 40 years or more so I am writing to let you know again, I really do not like chocolate. I was wondering, again, if it would be possible to just leave money.
More pictures here.
The thing is I have taken my 50,000 easter eggs from years past and tried to buy a house, a car, even pay for my college education ..... and people just don't feel the same way about chocolate that they do about money (go figure). I have included a list with all their names because I think that is completely disrespectful of you and the tireless work you do. I was thinking maybe you could withhold THEIR chocolate and give me their portion in money as well this year. We could start a new tradition. Bunny Bucks. What do you think?
Love your special friend
DRESS: Spirit Store
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Susan was a loud mouthed, large, unattractive and uncouth annoying girl who attended school with me. She grew up to be a really amazing woman and she, along with her best friend, both of whom were regularly shunned at the school dances by the cool girls and any boys, reinforced the caterpillar to the butterfly syndrome for me and forever changed the way I looked at people.
Even in school I did not get that there were supposed to be lines neatly drawn around us to keep some people in and a whole lot out. Susan was just another person and sometimes we hung out and sometimes we did not. I was not much to swear allegiance to anything other than sports and so was often socially inked in with lines in a corner. Everyone wanted to exclude me.
Years later at a reunion Susan and her friend were gorgeous, happy and by far the most interesting people there. I am not sure what has happened to her since. I am sure she is somewhere shining and being admired, which she always deserved and some people just failed to realize - their loss .. really. It always is.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
I think my neighbour has his holidays mixed up, he seems to be channeling a cross between the easter bunny as seen off season in the magicians hat and the tooth fairy as seen somewhat naked, in that he is sitting outside drinking beer in his underwear in the dark.
Now that it is light I am circulating a petition asking that he go inside and not try to pop a rabbit out of his "hat" as he seems to feel the need to handle the junk in his trunk.
I would just pull my shades but we need a skilled person to handle the binoculars.
(oh and he distracted me so violently that I deleted my credits for this post and then I tripped over the wires and my computer shut off and so ya .. don't hate me .. hate him ... )
A&A Fashion BodySuits
Spring brings lots of new offerings from Skin Designers to kick off the season with a sense of fresh vibrancy. I love this time of the year in SL, it is like everyone takes a deep breath and gets a renewed energy and we, the collective fashion loving public, reap all the benefits of their creative genius. CandyDoll - check it out!
Friday, April 22, 2011
Selling farm kids on the idea that bunnies and chicks have anything to do with Easter is a bit of a stretch. Still we were no dummies ... we would nod and agree to anything that meant the grown-ups gave us candy.
The only part of easter that sucked was the new Easter outfits for church which always seemed to mean crinolines of some sort, frilly underpants and socks, and a hat with a really tight elastic that made your face turn a funny shade of purple after awhile.
I went along with it for years but when I turned 40 I just put my foot down .. "come on grandma .. frilly underpants on someone my age, is a bit much don't you think? "
Then she showed me hers ....
It ruined Easter forever for me...
SHOES: Baby Monkey
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Sometimes it is damn exciting to see how far people have come and grown. What more can we ask of anyone than they grow and develop their talent and certainly LiLo Glom of JeSyLiLo is one of those people. This new offering from her comes with so many options, the possibilities are endless.
The top picture shows 3 different skins from one colour grouping, the bottom picture is just one skin with all the different choices available. I particularly like the dimples. The drama of the eye makeup and the choices of colour in LayLa is great. LiLo is one of those designers who provides regular offerings, is generous and approachable and someone I admire greatly. Check out JeSyLiLo.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
This is a public service announcement concerning this dress and one that you will thank me for .. trust me ...
When seated in church, no matter how enticing the pen sticking out of grandma's purse is ...resist. Trust me not matter how much you love to play "connect the dots" and no matter how cute the little pictures you can see just waiting there for you to define them ... no-one else will think they are that cute.
OH and above all else ... NEVER outline the picture of the penis you can see because that is wayyyy worse than the cute bunny for some reason.
Sit on your hands, bite your lip, look away and concentrate on wanting to live past 5.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
We had a girl at our school named Alice and the boys waivered between calling her "a lice" and "all ice." It didn't seem to bother her much and I admired her for that. Mainly the boys were just frustrated because they all wanted her and she was not having any country bumpkin pie ... if you catch my drift.
Funny how some people just know what they want from day one and will not be tempted in any way along the way to where they are going. Now me, I sampled along the way ... like lots of time I knew I would not like the pie, but it was pie, and so I had a bite or two and it helped to remind me that not all pie was the same and I should develop some pie discernment and not just be taken in by any old pie.
I have no idea what I am talking about here but evidently there are little life lessons in the small things that happen to us and I am hoping years from now someone will run into my kids and tell them how that crazy old woman, their mother, taught them the lesson they never forgot .. the lesson of Alice and the pie .. and people everywhere will share the story and make cool videos and write songs and the world will be a better place because of it. When that happens I really want Monicuzza Babenco of YourSkin & YourShape to know she inspired it the day she created her fabulous skin she called Alice ... and by then .. maybe someone in LL will say ... "hey what a human interest story this baby is ..." and they will promote it and people will take a second look at Second Life (oooh that is sooo good .. read it again .. see?) and they will say "Second Life was not just about sex after all .. .it was about pie too!" and I will laugh and laugh as I hang out with the angels (probably some fairies too .. from Evie's closet) cause sampling pie is just a euphemism for sex anyway.
I love watching little girls at weddings as they sit in their stiff crinolined dresses "oohing" and "ahhing" at the splendor of it all. They get the magic. They get it all and they breathe it in and out of every pore in their body.
They take immediate control of the little boys in their immediate vicinity, holding their faces in their hands and directing them towards the splendor, prompting them with elbows on when to "ooh" and when to "aah." They instruct them on how to eat, pull them onto the dance floor and insist they put their arms around them.
And the bride is doing exactly the same thing with her groom because women get it at 3 and men ... just don't seem to change much past 3.
(more pics here)
DRESS: Felicia's Fashions
Monday, April 18, 2011
I love shopping in those furniture stores where you walk in the door and people race from the far ends of the store to get to you . .. you know, it is kind of like Pavlov’s dogs. The door opens, a bell sounds, before they even turn their heads the sales crew are salivating, rubbing their hands and straightening their clipboards. There is a fight around the coffee machine. People are damaged. Some are carried out on stretchers, others bandadged and still able to move, get to their feet and begin to run towards us….bleeding from their bite marks, zigzagging around the couches, the overstuffed chairs, the rug display, the dining room tables and through the grandfather clocks desperate to get to you first. They have one eye on you .. the ultimate prize .. and the other on the rest of the team, also zigzagging through the maze of furniture, desperate to be the first to break free and stand in the zone next to you.
Finally one associate breaks free and, gasping for breath, he straightens his tie, pulls up and adjusts his pants and clears his throats …. “Hello Folks how are you today, how’s the weather out there? Looks like another nice day. What are we shopping for today? What can I show you?” I know he wants to do the end zone victory dance as he gloats looking over at the others with an “in your face” subtlety. He manages to restrain himself and continues chatting at us like he wants us to know he is a good good friend and cares about what we think of the weather. All around the store the other sales people throw their hands up in despair, drop to the floor sobbing, turn and walk away, gathering back around the coffee machine watching and waiting, hoping something happens and they can have another go, grumbling about what an ass this fellow is and how he cheated.
“Nothing thanks, we are just looking.” We walk away trying to put some distance between him and us ….. We think we have made it when suddenly he appears from behind a pillar off to our right and says, “Well, my name is Bob, and let me know if you need anything or have any questions. We have a special on today …. anything with a red tag is 50% off and we have in store financing available if you need it. Think something is out of your price range … talk to me and we can make a deal.” He is grinning. I am not. My hubby presses his thumb into my arm as he holds onto me and asks if I took my meds this morning. “No thanks BOB … we are JUST looking.” We move on.
2 other associates position themselves in the shadows and at the earliest opportunity they step forward and say hi and intro themselves …. asking if they can help. We repeat the mantra …. “No thanks, we are just looking ….” Bob spots them. As we walk out of site we hear gun shots … we don’t look back.
I hear footsteps behind us walking when we walk, stopping when we stop ….and then Bob cannot help himself and he starts again, “We just got 4 new shipments in and there are some great deals. ” We say nothing and walk away.
2 minutes later as we stroll through the couches looking for the exit into the mall which is the only real reason we came into the store in the first place, Bob says …. “what kind of couch are you looking for?”
We begin to zigzag ourselves, hurrying now, desperate to lose Bob. We make ridiculous movements, Bob follows. We are adults playing follow the leader in a furniture store only this game has an increasing probability for violence. I curse that I left my own gun at home. We go into a dead end wing and realizing our mistake we turn quickly, desperate to retreat. Bob stands at the only way out … smiling, his arms folded over his chest … we are blocked in. I lower my head, growl and head straight for him ….. Hubby running after me screaming “NO! NO BLISS! FOR GOD’S SAKE DON’T HURT HIM!”
Bob is talking again … I can’t hear him … I am in survival mode … HIS …. And God has chosen to close my ears to his voice so that he might live. I push past him and head for the door. Bob picks himself up, dusts off his ass and runs after us talking to us about new shipments tomorrow and if we find something at another store for cheaper talk to him first as he will beat the deal … he is holding out his card .. repeating his name … “Bob, Bob .. remember, ask for BOB …”
I don’t care about a door to the mall anymore …. I just need to be in a Bob free zone where I can breathe again.
The thing is I have tried to imagine people buying furniture in these stores …. Whipped into submission, bullied into paisley couches and glass topped coffee tables. Maybe the technique works but frankly EVEN if I was looking for furniture I would never buy from BOB … I would make a point of NOT buying from BOB because BOB neither listens to me or respects me. Bob annoys me. I hate Bob. In fact these are all the reason I choose not to be friends with people, not to be around certain people, and disliked some of my relatives for years. I guess I missed that chapter in Dale Carnegie’s book on “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” because I don’t get the technique. Like does a manager actually coach….”Ok staff here’s what I want you to do … harrass and irritate the shit out of the customers until they are beaten down or want to shoot you …once you see that look in their eyes … you know you have the sale!!!”
Good luck Bob … right now … I am writing your name and the name of your store on the wall of the bathroom in the mall … I consider it a public service announcement intended to protect the innocent.
SHOES: Baby Monkey
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
I don't think Lord Byron, Shakespeare and other romantics knew about nights in Canada when you go to bed with your choice of either 5000 lbs of blankets and 8 pair of socks, 3 sets of jammies OR the heat hiked up so high that it takes you almost an hour to move your mouth in the morning as it is so dry and then .... you wake up to a gazillion feet of snow on the ground and somewhere in the soft mounds ... is your car. THAT does not translate well to romantic poetry.
Then you get to get up and put on 5000 lbs of outdoor clothes and use a metal detector to find your shovel beneath the snow and then dig out your car. It is important not to make eye contact with any of the neighbours also out car mining because misery connecting in frozen whiteness causes insanity ....
Once you get the car dug out you get to climb in and try to start it. IF you get it started you get to try to get it to move into the snowdrifts that define the streets ... and drive off to work with hundreds of other people who will be swearing at you, at God, at the roads, etc.
It will snow all day too while you are at work and your car is parked in the outdoor parking area you pay $300 per month to rent. And you will get to do the whole thing over again to go home ... and arrive there sometime just before the late night show.
The really cool part is during the day when the customers complain that you didn't seem very cheery when they came to purchase their tickets to Australia. That just blows me away .... and proves that the average consumer is soooo perceptive.
SKIN: Al Vulo
DRESS: Siss Boom
CHOKER: La Forgia
SHOES: Donna Flora
One of the really fun things you get to do as a grandparent is rile the grandkids up so much that there is a smug feeling watching your children deal with them at bed time.
I like to give them lots of candy and then play wild horsey with them and then while their parents (my former child) attempts to calm them down to go to bed, I like to lay out the pics I took of that night way back when .., you know when they were teenagers and being so impossible etc ... yup I lay those out ... and the police reports ... all done up in the lovely scrapbook I made ... and I announce that Grandma is tired and I am going to bed.
Sometimes life is just really fulfilling like that ....
Sunday, April 3, 2011
You know how it goes it Canada ... well I forgot. Spring ... it is like a roller coaster ride ... a little bit warm ... a little bit thaw and then WHAM....
Right back into the snow and cold and big boo boo lips cause you have to put away those amazing sandals ... and I am trying to be brave and strong ... really ... but .....
I am soooo over cold .... snow is nice on Christmas day .. that's it .. sorry .. wannna go home ...
SKIN: Fhang Candy
SKIRT AND BLOUSE: SAS
BOOTS: Bax Coen