Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Hair can be used as weapon ... did you see the 80's??
I remember some of those girls playing basketball with their sprayed up bangs ... ya you take off the hairclips etc but leave the bangs ....
There are an awful lot of middle aged ex-basketball players now with severed fingers and glass eyes ....
LASHES: On The Catwalk
Monday, August 30, 2010
I usually dress like this when I head over to Crazy Clarks, or the Reject Shop. I like to wander in and see if my CD is still available and how sales are going .... it is important to be amongst your fans you know ....especially in summer ....
so I usually do a quick go through of the cds .. mine is right next to Skippy the Kangaroos famous Australian Song "Matilda stopped waltzing once the dingos ate her legs" and the complete works of "Clogging the Australian way" with words written in for the first time ever ...
I pick my cd up and admire the artwork .. I am really good with crayolas .... and I count how many are left so I know how many have sold and I can start dreaming of how I am going to spend my cut ....
So far ... snuck in and placed in the cd bin ... 1
still in the cd bin ..... 1
Sales .... 0 (this is just a rough estimate - still need my accountant to check my figures)
I am not discouraged though ... I know I will catch on here and I have to admit I am so dreaming of my cut on the $1.99 and how that is going to change my life forever.
JEWELLERY: Sierra Jakob Designs
SUNGLASSES: Role Optic
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Anyone can be a cowgirl .. seriously ...
Cows are not particular ... they are actually kind of passive masochists really ... I mean have you ever been to a dairy farm?
I think if cows ever were to come onto the grid (and I know many of you will argue there are already some here) I think they will head straight for Zindra .. but I am not sure about the whole Gorean thing .. cows suck at kneeling ....
HAIR: Sweet Hair, Sweet Faces
SKIRT: House Of Hucci
BRACELET: Gems & Kisses
Saturday, August 28, 2010
So Jaxie was so excited that I dated her brother cause she has been trying to get some loser to date him for ages … (I think she wants his room if he moves out) that she sent me these amazing shoes!!! And I loved them and it was a fatpack .. And I wore them and every time I got up during the night I had to just look at them again … until my hubby told me that having the laptop under the covers so I don't miss anything was just not cool ...
And then I got dressed and tried on the pink leopard ones and uh oh …. The one would only stay grey. And I cried … I edited myself, rebaked myself, screamed at myself, went to another sim, took it off and put it on again and cleared my cache. I relogged, tried a different viewer, and then contacted Jaxie and whined a lot … a whollllle lot....
She tried a couple of things and then I got all like .. Wait a minute .. I am creative .. I will copy the left shoe and put it on the right foot .. Who will know? And I did it!! Wow called in the neighbours, phoned my mom, made my hubby go buy me a Hallmark card and whoot I was smoking!!
And then I noticed that the toes were the wrong way around ….
This is why we should leave designing to the experts and the rest of us should befriend them and pray they take pity on us …
Thank heaven Jaxie had some compassion for the remedial dressers group to which I belonged and she sent me a new pair of shoes …. Oh .. But I have to date her brother again … the things I do for fashion ….
NECKLACE: Pinky Gals
EARRINGS: Violet Voltaire
Friday, August 27, 2010
"You have to have the kind of body that doesn't need a girdle in order to get to pose in one." ~Carolyn Kenmore
That is so true... like any of the women ever posing need to wear one .... In fact most models don't even need to wear clothes .. I think the rest of us wear clothes out of consideration for everyone else ....
"Here let me just cover that up for you ... no need to ruin your dinner ..."
Sometimes the Old Humpydora would get talking .. sort of thinking out loud about something she was reading ... lots of people get like that on the prairies .. after years of being scarred with the isolation and only gophers and cows to talk to ... you sort of just talk amongst yourself ... Anyway one day I walked in and my grandmother was having a deep (frankly scary) discussion with herself (Scary? come on people there are SOME things 9 year olds just do not wanna know ok?) and she said that she actually found nudity somewhat disturbing. She thought leaving something covered-up left some things to the imagination .. which was always better than reality anyway ... and she cited the old fan dancers and the art of that as opposed to blatant nudity .... She did not think people wanted to see it all anyway ...
I nodded my head, looking for an exit, trying to use MY imagination to think of fluffy kittens and baby ducks, and said .. "rrrrright .. I so agree with you .. and you should use really really big fans ok .. promise me grandma .... BIGGGGGG fans ok?"
Thursday, August 26, 2010
I joined the new Patch.com to find a date. It is kinda like Match.com only for the gently used and crazy .. the remnants .. think like a patchwork quilt where you work with what you have ... only not in the church basement and with better refreshments ...
I dreamed of meeting Mr. Right ... so I filled out the paperwork and waited. Finally the computer dinged and it was not just another penile implant offer and I was stoked ... meet him at 8, don't be late ... the computer matched us on a million points of compatibility ...
He must be a rocket scientist, just like me ... thin, gorgeous, works out all the time ... just like me .... misunderstood in all his other relationships .. just like me.... travelled the world, well read, well educated, sought after by the throngs of the tired masses wanting our wisdom and our beauty ... NOT into it just for sex, never done this kind of thing before, enjoy long walks on the beaches and just looking for love ... wow we were gonna be perfect ...
What to wear is such a question..... but luckily Cole had the perfect dress and Jaxie the perfect shoes .. in case we wanted to do a little clogging later on or something ... I made my entrance...and played the "ta da" tape I had created for the occasion. I was "ta da-ing" all over the place until they told me to sit down and the mic was for karaoke not "ta-da-ing" and one girl offered me free plastic surgery .. in the bathroom ....
I passed on her kind offer to rearrange my face and I waited and waited for Mr. Right ..... my perfect PATCH ...
more pics here
And then he showed .. and lets just say .... the fact I said I loved Australia and that I liked someone who could just jump into life and go for it ... ummmm ... ummmmmmm....
I didn't care that he was voted most popular in his Trailer Life Advancement Group or that he was top pocket-protector salesman of the year or that he used to sing with Paisley Beebe back in the day ....
He didn't even know how to clog....
HAIR AND HAT: Celestial Studios
LASHES: On the Catwalk
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
I always liked the ambiguity of parental instructions ... "You MARCH right up there your bedroom .. RIGHT NOW!!!" Followed by, "Are you stomping your feet? You'd better not be stomping your feet at me!" Ummmm ..., "Mom .. marching ... it requires a bit of a stomp .. sorry ... will work on that ..."
My favourite is ... "Do you want me to come in there and give you something to cry about?" Hmmm ...can I get back to you on that one? I did say "yes" once .. just out of curiosity ...
It was not good. Ever notice how really angry parents lose all sense of humour?
LASHES: On The Catwalk
SHOES: N Core
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
The Art of Overdressing is an important tip for the fashionista. This is when you go somewhere everyone else is wearing bluejeans and you are in an evening gown, and you act like you are just as comfortable. You grab a bucket and slop down the pigs or put in a mouthguard and tackle the guy across from you, dislodge the football, and run for a touchdown .. heels, sparkles and all ...
Underdressing can be an art too ...
... although going naked when everyone else is fully clothed is not an "art" when you are 82 and a little overweight ... excuse me for a moment ...
(GRANDMA ... YO!! .... OVER HERE ... you need to get back in the car now and put your dress back on ... you are scaring all the nice people at church ... )
More pics here.
HAIR: Dark Mouse
LASHES: On The Catwalk
BOOTS: Victoria Endsleigh Couture
Monday, August 23, 2010
One should always dance in the streets .. there are rules about jaywalking some places but nothing about dancing .. when in doubt .. dance .. people either applaud for you or clear a wide path ...either way .. BONUS ....
I like to pick places where other people aren't .. I hate it when you are trying to do the funky chicken and some old lady is standing there with her plaid plastic shopping bag stuffed with bread looking at you through her bi-focals and tsking ... it so cramps your style ....
I always just say ... "Dad .. get off the streets seriously .. leave it to us young people ....!!"
HAIR: No longer available
OUTFIT: UK Couture
Saturday, August 21, 2010
I had a dress like this as a teenager ... and I loved it ...
Well as a pre-teen.... kinda.... cause when you move into full-on teendom you wear much more indecent and irreverant clothes ...
I loved the lace bodice on the dress, although I have to admit there was no breast showing or suggestion going on. On the farm, in the frozen north, we are well practiced in the "thou hast no breasts" pretend game. I was just grateful that bandaging them with old sheet strips had gone out the window just before I got there ....
You could discuss the cow udders, the cow breeding, the cow artificial insemination, the actions or lack of it -of the bulls, the actions of the marauding escaped bulls from the next door neighbour BUT you NEVER EVER EVER referred to the female breast.
That's probably why when I got married and my hubby very sexily asked me in bed that night .. "mmmmmm what are these?"
I replied ... "how the hell would I know?"
HAIR: DBS Heart
DRESS, PURSE AND JEWELLERY: aDiva
DRESS, PURSE AND JEWELLERY: aDiva
Friday, August 20, 2010
I think this outfit in a place like this is the equivalent of the male thing of getting up at the crack of dawn and going to some god-forsaken freezing beach and digging up smelly disgusting blood worms so that you can go sit in a boat and throw your hook over the side and catch some big ass fish ....
Yes, this is to fashion and this location what a blood worm is to the ocean and a boat .. toooo tempting for the fish to pass up on ...
This is also the reason why it is much more fun to be a girl and why we should go with our first impressions at 3 when we intuitively go, "ewwwwwwww boys are icky ...."
...ignore all that nonsense when you hit your teens and your twenties ... it is all just smoke and mirrors .... or fish and worms ...
SHOES: Vita's Boudoir
Thursday, August 19, 2010
I had "uniform envy" all through school. Other schools had great uniforms ... 'white and red,' 'white and gold,' 'black and gold' ... I always had 'gold and green,' or 'burgandy and gold.' BUT wait ... let me explain ... the gold on the 'white and gold', and 'black and gold' was beautiful gold .... the gold on 'green and gold' and 'burgandy and gold' was this kinda dark yellowy orange that made your skin look like you had liver problems ....
It was kinda like in the material factory when they ruined a batch of nice gold they said .. "hell, save that for the dweeby 'gold and green' uniforms ...
I had a theory .. the girls in the white uniforms got asked out alot more ... and to prove it one day I put my brother in a white uniform and sure enough ... guys were lining up to date him ....
HAIR: Magika Hair
DRESS: Glow Studio
EARRINGS: JE Republic
BRACELETS: Picadi Jasha
SHOES: N Core
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Ok confesssion time .. I broke a few dolls on my way from childhood to adulthood ( and please excuse any spelling errors it is hard to type and bat away your hubbies hands cause he disagrees with that last statement and feels I have overstated the "adulthood" part of it). Yes so I broke a few dolls ....
You would think my brother would be grateful for that ... it was the dolls or him ... and especially the one that ended up under the tractor wheel .. I mean come on he should be thanking me .. even though I wrote his name on the doll and pretended in my mind it was him ....imagination is a wonderful thing ....
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
I like the beaches in Australia .. it took awhile to get used to seeing them without any cows or anything on them but then I guess a field with some dirt leading into the slough is really not technically "a beach" but I believe in improvising .. what doesn't work for you, or isn't real ... just make it all up in your own head ...
It also took awhile to get so that I didn't blind other people on the beach when I showed up on account of my skin being so white ....
more pics here.
And now I am working on learning "Australian Swimming." That is when you actually get in the water, let your body go prone and move your arms and legs and you go places .... as opposed to "Canadian Swimming" when you wade into the water, about waist deep and stand with your arms folded and talk to the other Canadians "swimming" with you .
HAIR: I Love Olive
Monday, August 16, 2010
Office games can be tons of fun to break up the monotony. They really help to build the team spirit. Oh but sometimes the "victim" doesn't bond with the "team" that is laughing and snorking right away ... but don't give up .. it is worth it ...
One of the games I like to play with engineers is change the keys on the keyboard. Yup, just pop a couple of those puppies off .. think about the most strategic ones you can do and do not make it obvious ...
Now wait for them to try and log on in the morning .... Fun right??? Did you know some of those swear words? Write some of them down ... they might come in handy some day.
I like when they phone IT to say the log in isn't working and IT keeps telling him that his log in is not right .... and Mr. "I AM ENGINEER YOU BOW IN MY PRESENCE" pounds out each letter saying "THIS is my log in .. I KNOW my log in ... damnit I have been here for 12 years .. I am an ENGINEER .. not an idiot .... "
Then for real fun .. and a way to turn a fun fun day into productive as well .. you tell him to let you try .. you might be able to fix it. Take tools over there and tell him he looks stressed .. he might want to get a cup of coffee. He will scoff .. how could YOU .. a NON ENGINEER person ... a mere WOMAN .. fix HIS computer??? Smile and say .. "well go get a coffee ... "
While he is away you change the keys back. Put some grease on your face and be wiping the tools when he returns. Tell him to try it now .. and when he gets in! VOILA.... you have just bought yourself some ENGINEER respect ... and that my friends .. is priceless ...
AND .... this is just another Bliss moment of sharing of how to make your way up the corporate ladder while having fun and games in your big ass office ....
HAIR: Glam Affair
BLOUSE: Heaven Fashion
Sunday, August 15, 2010
I believe that there are angels among us ....
They came once when I was getting a personal discourse from Mr Belt for beating my brother up and enfolded me in their wings and I took a picture and all cause I thought it was kinda cool ...
But when I got it developed it was just a picture of my brother pointing at me and laughing and then me stading there with a snotty nose, red eyes from crying ,and a piece of lint hanging from my sweater ....
I have always been kinder to lint after that .. cause you never know ....
SKIN: Just Me
Saturday, August 14, 2010
You know growing up when you fingerpainted your lips purple, you were smacked and talked to sternly about messing around and being ridiculous ....when you ate glue you were given lectures about horse hoofs and asked if you would go lick the horses hooves in the barn??? .. which gave way for questions in my mind about who was really being ridiculous now .... I mean I understood the need to parent but lets try to keep it real ....
Which is why now I like to put on blue lisptick and visit nursing homes and prance around cause they can't tell me what to do, or get the soap out and wash it off.... and besides ....
They can't reach me with their canes and I can outrun their walkers .....
Sometimes when life hands you lemons you need to throw those lemons down on the ground and dance your ass of on them ... cause you can ... and you wanna ..
SKIN: Freckles Design
HAIR: Rezlpsa Loc